Hello Grandmother,

In travelling the Oz countryside, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do to get home. I’d been trapped in the realm for over a week, and had no idea what kind of exit strategy I had available to me. Most important was to keep away from any military figures who might report me back to the dissection tables.

It was in this wandering state that I met the most unusual creature (which I imagine, is a regular occurrence in Oz). It was a hermited talking donkey, who simply called himself “Wise Donkey”. Said donkey claimed to be the smartest living creature in Oz, and said it knew how to get me home, if only I would tell it how I got away from the adepts. I told the donkey that it wasn’t a big deal, that I only stepped out while they were distracted, and the beasts’ face turned pale, which is hard to do when it’s covered in hair. “They are coming here,” it said. “We must get you home”.

I was fully prepared for this, though not for it’s method. For you see, to send me back to Earth, the Donkey believed I had to be rendered swiftly unconscious. I wasn’t so sure this would work, but a stiff kick from it’s hind legs silenced my objections. I awoke in a poppy field in Kansas, and made my way back to my friends as best I could. Now we all have to worry about how long it’s going to be before the adepts send the forces of Oz here to more secure their borders.

-1159

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